Nick Cannon Opens Up About Insecurities in Relationship with Mariah Carey: ‘Am I Mariah’s Man?’

Nick Cannon is opening up about the insecurities he faced during his relationship with ex-wife Mariah Carey.

Appearing on the Ray Daniels Presents podcast on Thursday, Oct. 24, the Wild ‘n Out star, 44, spoke about his split from the singer, 55, and shared that he questioned his own identity after the pair tied the knot in 2008.

“I didn’t actually really care what the world thought because the perception, you know, that is what it is. People are going to love you one day, hate you the next day,” Cannon said during the episode. “I could care less about that. … But going to myself with that pressure of, ‘Who am I?’ ”

“I got married in my 20s, you know what I mean? To the biggest star in the world,” he added.

“My trajectory was here,” he said, gesturing downwards, “and then hers — she’s already in a different stratosphere.”

According to Cannon, he struggled to have his own identity outside of their relationship, although he acknowledged that he got “comfortable” with Carey, joking that “she’s got islands and I’m waking up at noon and people bringing me steaks on a platter.”

“I would lay up at night thinking, like, ‘Is is this who I am? Am I Mariah’s man? Is that what my life is supposed to be?’ ” Cannon said. “There’s nothing wrong with it.”

The actor also said he struggled with his masculinity and the “hierarchy” of their family after the pair welcomed their two children, twins Moroccan and Monroe, in April 2011.

“I’m carrying a purse, the diaper bag and, you know, I’m standing on the corner like, ‘Wait.’ She’s rocking being the alpha,” Cannon continued, agreeing when the podcast’s host acknowledged, “She deserves it.”

“I believe she needs a dude like that. I’m just not that dude,” Cannon added.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

Cannon and Carey first romantically connected in early 2008 when the actor starred in the singer’s “Bye Bye” music video. After just a few months of dating, they secretly married in May 2008.

In 2014, they announced they were divorcing after six years of marriage.

The two have both previously spoken candidly about their relationship. In 2020, Carey released her memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey. In it, she wrote about her whirlwind marriage to Cannon and shared what initially drew her to him.

“He was a good guy. He was faith-based. He was ambitious,” she recalled. “He had been in the entertainment industry for a long time, so he understood the madness. He paid attention to me.”

“Honestly, I think Nick and I could have worked it out between the two of us, but egos and emotions got inflamed (which can translate into many billable lawyer hours, and ultimately it did),” Carey added in the book. “It was tough. We both wanted to make sure everything was cool for our family. We will always be family, and we make it work.”

In August this year, Cannon told E! News: “We belong together.” He said that he would “absolutely” get back together with Carey and added that it would “be stupid if [he] didn’t.” 

But Cannon joked to the outlet, “She don’t want me.” Just a few weeks later, he clarified to PEOPLE: “She’s moved on from my crazy antics.”

Carey has since been in several long-term relationships. Cannon, meanwhile, has welcomed 10 more children with several other partners.